real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
