Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The struggles of a small town man whore
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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