Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
