i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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