Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
