"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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