Plan B is the new Plan A
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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