so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
soo... how was my night?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
