I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
