yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
