Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize