we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
