Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
