They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
