puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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