If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
