what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Randomize
