i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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