The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
