honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
