Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
