Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
