Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
