We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
