I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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