dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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