two words: eviction party
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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