It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize