What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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