Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
