I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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