To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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