So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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