Can Purell be used as lube?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
