Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
