We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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