I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
