WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize