So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
