69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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