Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
