Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
