Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize