you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
