Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The dick lei will go down in squad history
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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