i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
