I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Randomize
