also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
