Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
