I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we're making bets on your personal life
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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