Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
