Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My penis needs a shock collar
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
