I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
