Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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