And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
