Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize