Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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