never play flip cup with pint glasses
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
