just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
