Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
