So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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