Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
