Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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