This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
