Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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