When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize